We breathe all the time, but we hardly ever notice it. Between thoughts, worries, and tension, the body continues to breathe automatically. Until something—a pressure in the chest, a sigh, or a pause—invites us to pay attention.
Breathing changes according to what we feel, and what we feel changes according to how we breathe. Understanding this connection opens the door to a powerful tool: simple, free, and always available to regulate ourselves and return to the present.
The polyvagal theory, developed by neuroscientist Stephen Porges, explains how our autonomic nervous system responds to feelings of safety or threat. According to this theory, we don’t just react with “stress” or “relaxation”: the body has different circuits that activate depending on what it perceives.
• Ventral vagus (calm and connection): When we feel safe, breathing is broad and rhythmic, and the body opens to connection.
• Sympathetic (fight or flight): If we perceive danger, our breathing speeds up and our body prepares to act.
• Dorsal vagus (freeze or shut down): When the threat is perceived as too intense, our energy shuts down and our breathing becomes minimal.
Understanding this allows us to hear the body’s language more clearly.
Polyvagal theory shows us that emotional regulation is not achieved only by changing our way of thinking, but also by creating physical conditions of safety.
Knowing how to recognize the state of our nervous system—whether alert, disconnected, or calm—gives us the ability to respond more thoughtfully to what we need. Breathing is not just a technique: it is a way to self-regulate and reconnect with what we feel.
Emotions also have their breathing rhythm. When we feel anxious, our breath becomes shallow and choppy, as if the body is searching for an outlet.
Sadness makes it slower and deeper, heavy, almost suspended. Anger tends
to contain it, to keep the air inside as if something were resisting release. And
when calm arrives, breathing becomes broad, fluid, effortless.
Observing how we breathe is a way to know where we are, even before
naming it.
In therapeutic work, we use breathing not only as a tool to calm ourselves, but also to give ourselves permission to feel. Breathing accompanies emotional expansion and
release, helping to release accumulated tension and restore the body’s vitality. When consciously integrated, it becomes a bridge between what we think and what we actually experience, between the story we tell ourselves and the one our body still holds.
Breathing is then an anchor to the present. When the air flows, so does awareness: breathing brings us to the present.
Here I share a simple exercise to connect with your breathing:
Sit or lie down with your back supported.
Inhale through your nose for 4 counts.
Exhale through your mouth for 6 counts.
Feel your abdomen move smoothly and effortlessly.
Do this a few times and see how you feel.
